I've seen a lot of different posts over the last few days about Mental Health week. I found myself reading them and thinking that although they were great, I wouldn't be posting anything because what did I have to say that was so different to anyone else? What could I say that would really help anyone?
Then I was reminded of the entire reason I started writing this blog: to document my journey from someone anxious, stressed out and seriously unhappy, to someone who has a far better idea of who she is, a far better idea of how to manage that anxiety, and someone far braver. Hence the name, From Worrier to Warrior. My hope in starting the blog was that if I could help even one person by sharing my experiences, it would be worth it.
I don't often feel the need to revisit the darkest point in my life, but sometimes even admitting that you have had dark times is enough to give someone else hope. I knew my life had to change somehow when I reached a point where I felt like it would be easier not to be here, easier not to be alive than to be feeling the stress and anguish I was feeling. I don't feel it necessary to go into the reasons why, but I have never claimed to be perfect or pretended that I didn't play a part in my own unhappiness. I had hit a dangerous low. I had come to a point where I stood on a train platform and genuinely considered if it would just be easier to jump. It was only a brief thought, but it was enough. Enough to tell me that I needed to try and take back the control of my own happiness before the dark thoughts took control of me.
I know it isn't that straightforward for everyone. I am not someone who struggles with depression, and for that I consider myself very lucky. However, for me, I knew I had the power to change things, and to create a more positive life. It took guts, time, counselling, and trying new things to get me to a more positive place, but without talking about it endlessly, with many different people, I would not have got there.
So a thank you, to all those who were there when I really needed them. When I was not such a likeable person. When I was disconnected and stuck in a bubble of stress and couldn't be reached. Without those people, who knows where I would be. So in your darkest times, tell people you need them, even if it is just to be there in silence. Don't go through your pain alone. We are not made to be solitary beings. We need one another.